Anticipation

It’s amazing how one word can mean so many different emotions to so many people.  For some, it brings to mind the delight of the next great meal.  For others, the dread of the next Monday morning at work.

I have two things on my mind (well maybe three) that are causing a great deal of anticipation for me.  Nanowrimo, of course, is one.  I can’t wait to pit myself against… well myself to see if I can perform under pressure and get that 50,000 word novel finished in 30-days.

The other, more immediate thing, is my book.  Yup, it’s finally done.  And trust me, it put me through an emotional rollercoaster.  All because of anticipation.

Let me see if I can recap events around the completion of the book…

  1. pressure to meet my personal deadline of October 31.  I wanted the editing done, the book printed, packaged and sent out so I could focus on Nanowrimo
  2. a bit of self-doubt.  Is it good enough to go out?  I finally had to bite the bullet and tell myself that it was as good as it was going to get this round.  I can alway edit further if the first publisher finds it (severely) wanting.
  3. Anxiety.  Have I got it formated the way the publisher wants it?  (I’d heard horror stories of publishers returning manuscripts unread because the author didn’t format it just so.
  4. Frustration.  Manuscript was printed and packaged.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to find anyone at the post office who had any clue of how to get return postage for the US (or even how much it might be).
  5. Relief.  Figured out postage on my own.  Went to Post office, had package stamped and sealed (with appropriate Canada Post Money Order inside) and sent
  6. Excitement.  What will the publisher think?  Will I be getting a call sometime in the next few months with a verbal offer?  More to come.

As you can see, anticipation can mean many things, both positive and negative.  And it enables a few things too.  In my case, it gives me hope.  Hope that I may be on the verge of a new (and much dreamed about) career.  Even if the book isn’t accepted right away, it is now in circulation looking for a publisher.  And I already know that this is an ongoing learning experience.  I’ll just keep plugging on.

Now, let’s get Nanowrimo underway.

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